I want i want!!!

TopShop Got-to-get List

28 pound 4 this dress? its mine when i find it

85 pond seems a lil unreasonable, considering the detail on the dress..but its still nice

Topshop Jeans r around 40 quid in England, so Here it would be bout Rm200 

I just love this outfit- it just works(TOPSHOP)

Polkerdot party dress

Pink-heart retro top

Thing on The Wish-List-Babyphat mini dress

Before i go to bed

Before i go to bed

i think of all the things i did today

and count how many times i pushed irrelevant things out of the way

i went to college and did my work

even tho my lecturers do drive me besurk

and drive me to the point of where i end

but i do take it all up as a challenge

I lay on my soft pillows as they bury my head

and i think of the silly things today that i may have said

i regret hurting anyones feelings in the past

and pray my true friendships shall forever last

i know there have been up's as much as down's

but i didnt mean to make those frowns

I think of HIM, and it makes me smile

even tho just a minute seems to last for a while

Its a year today, and i feel complete

becoz i know some people could never compete

i love him more every single day

even when he does tend to get in the way

but he is always able to make me laugh

even if im on the phone with him while taking a bath

he is what i think about before i sleep

yet when he is not around im at my stress peak

When im down he picks me up

and if im milk, he is the cup

if im a banana he is the skin

he is everything about me within...

Im so sleepy, got class tmrow..bye

How i feel about all this...

Ofcourse it sucks when u feel the whole world is against you...

i have been there..

Friends are friends till u know that they bitched about you, and called u names..

But when u have the guts to admit it to the person and apologise, it makes everything so much easier..

Close cut friendships will always have misunderstandings, thinkin u kno eachother from A-Z..

sometimes u need to take the time to spell the letters out, and really understand what they mean.

But..never..ever..date or kiss a friends ex..the outcome will always be nasty..

YES I AM TALKIN ABOUT 'X' ...i mean what happened to the good 'ol confrontation, the one on one table talk..if u dont agree with what people are saying..SPEAK UP! u cant expect ppl to read minds..say something..if u didnt do what others are saying then its so much easier to say so...if the proof is there..talk it out..

But at the same time, when u have said things about all your friends..one day...they will all find out...and maybey that is what is happening to u now...

But dont just look at it as a lost cause, or another friend down the drain...im talkin about ppl who used to care 4 u...i was hurt by u 2..n yes it did take me a while 2 forgive u..even tho ur actions were not 100% justified..but i still forgave you...but even tho i did...i still wonder why you would of did the same thing to others...

If you feel they r wrong...GO AND SEE THEM, ALL OF THEM...yes girls will always be girls..and words hurt girls more than anything else...

im not saying i beleive 100% u did do it...i have my doubts about kissing 'her ex' i do have my doubts that u didnt...justice may be prevailed already yet maybey it is not..if u treasured the friendships at all u wouldnt of said anythin in the 1st place..so think about it...

Look at yourself, and ask yourself, what are you going to do with you..remember FRIENDSHIP IS AN INVESTMENT THAT SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, USE IT WISELY BECOZ ONCE THAT STOCKMARKET FALLS DOWN...IT MAY BE GONE FOR GOOD...

The26th of MARCH

ok!!!!!!!, 1st of all im really touched by Alyaa n Hanies blog..hahahh everyone is on the topic of marriage...its really sweet..

And i know that whatever difficulties u guys r goin thru...i have so much faith i both of you...more faith in you two than anyone else i know..u are two really strong ppl....love u guys very much

Today is the day that i finished my shoot as well, absolutely exhausted..

all the 3 inch make up, i miss all the people i met..and all the time spent at Lim kok Wing was quite an experience.

I was amazed at the profound varieties of culture in Just one college...n it has almost everything there...but its so far away from everything which is why isaid i didnt want to study there...

I went out with the girls today as well, ALYAA IS FINALLY BACK FOR A WHILE! and we all got to meet up...after like a year? yeah...Our Bitchy Wednesday..but it was good..its amazing how well u can communicate in a group when u have sooo much in common...heheheheh..

I reallly enjoyed it tho..besides the HOT conversation...we got to catch up on stuff we missed..n whats goin on in everyones lives.

Its really weird how much can happen in a year..but im so happy everyone is doing great...yet still have high hopes 4 some peoples relationships to get stronger coz they both make great couples...im finally in the zone..

Speaking of couples, yes im engaged...and it feels exceptionally strange and yet very fulfilling at the same time, coz i didnt think it would come so fast, i had no idea i was going to be loved so much by a person i just admired from far, the same person who was there when i cried, when i was finishing work, who brought dinner to me at my work place, who listened to all my problems..who always knew how to make me smile, even at the most ridiculous times..who always knew how to break my play-hard-to-get sequence with him, and knew everything, or seemed to know everything about me b4 we even met.

Yes being together a year seems so easy, but i have never experienced so much in one year b4, he may just be an average guy, but to me he is everything, i beleive that you dont have to have money and cars to prove you are someone, You are someone when you can prove you are able to love and accept another person for how he/ she is..my fiancee, has always been very humble, i knew that once i met him, he accepts anyone of any kind and never has a bad thing to say..

More importantly, he has always been there 4 me when i needed it..and i suppose he decided that he didnt want to be with anyone else, as if to say ' She is the one i want to be with till i go grey' and it really touches my heart becoz i cant see my self being with anyone else...some people move around at an early age, where as some start a bit later...i started early which is probably why i want to settle early too..i have no regrets, i have tried and experienced what an average person would experience at my age now, only a lil bit earlier. I want to work, n live my dream...i want to wake up every morning wth the one i love by my side, (POSSIBLE CANDIDATE FOR BED N BREAKFAST CHEF?) HMMM DOUBT IT...but the thought is nice...i dont think i wanna be seeing other people..i dont want to walk around wandering what i have been missing..when i have it in the palm of my hand, and i hold it so tightly becoz i never want to lose it, and the love that i have for just this one person, is enuff for me to say to him : I CANT WAIT TO MAKE FUN OF U WHEN U HAVE NO TEETH.....

Anyway..im off 2 bed nows...tata 4 now...

Phaze is it?

I dont kno why but , lately iv been feeling slightly outta place..most of my really good friends r all overseas...n im stuck here..i mean its great that im getting on alright but...i want that experience u know..of being in a foreign country...i am in a foreign coutry...but iv been here 4 so long it feels like home...to the point where i feel i need to get out and see the world, and be able to tell my children of what i have experienced...hmmm

Maybey its just a phaze, of actually finding out what i want in life, and i certainly do. i know exactly what i want. Its just that, maybey i want more outta life,  that extra anti-gravity that still pushes me to want to try other things...try everything while i still can...allow myself to be my own oyster n let the world just let me do so...see all the friends iv been wanting to see..sit on the beaches that iv always wanted to sit on...

i  have a few tings on my death-wish list:

-Sky diving

-african safari

-travelling the world

-give something to the orphaned children

-Meet Tun dr mahathir( must do)

-go back to england

-change peoples ideas of freedom?( dont think so)

- Allow people to understand that life is not a choice, its a gift

-Make history

-become editor or chief fashion director for Harpers Bazaar

-Donate a whoe coutrie's old clothes or rejected clothes to cambodian poor people

-Meet Nelson Mandela( i love that guy)

Well im not sure i can meet all of the wishes i want to...it involves time and a hell lot of commitment..which i know i have...it just depends on when and how...

I am looking forward to trying all of them anyway...

Dizzy

I had no class today, so pretty free..i have been having trouble sleeping lately i dont know why...i love getting a good nights sleep...maybey too much on my mind like with my design studio coming up, plus some other work i haf 2 do...urghhhh..Dad and the twins have gon to Kota Kinabalu today...jz 4 the weekend..he went to see the gf..i dont like her so i didnt want to go...plus the fact i might be going to see my best friend Cindy in Jakarta after my D.studio habis. I cant wait...Im getting kinda bored here..theres nothing to do but lepak..n shopping and eating..even all that is getting boring...its 7.00am and i still havent slept yet..

theres this girl(clubber) in johor who told my friends bf (of 4 years together) that she was pregnant with his child..my two friends nie have been 2gether 4 years...but the bf cheated on her recently....and this psycho girl wont leave them alone...walaupun skarang ni the doctor told her she isnt pregnant ...she still kacau..so i called her myself n told her to simpan the tiny piece of maruah she might have left , even tho its non existant...n that she should leave my friend alone...i mean c'mon my friends r getting engaged soon...jz leave them alone laa right, da kantoi scandal....but they are still 2gether....let them try n work it out right....i swear this girl is psycho..sampai anta 4 msg panjang2..n saying that she hates the guy, n that i should ask my friend to leave him(so that she can have him instead) n that she understands what i mean...but she is not a typicall clubber n that i shouldnt judge her? Girl...u sed u wuzz pregnant with my friends bf of 4 years...how many times has THAT happened to u?  n now that ur not just leave them alone....he doesnt want you laaaaaa....

god, i have to sleep....going to seremban today...and pd..

I dont get it...

Why cant friends just be satisfied with eachother?? normal yes 4 people to have dissagreements yes? but not to the extent where you bitch..its not nice especially in ur own group...marah mcm mana pon....

Yang i pelik kan....klu xpuas hati..ASAL X CONFRONT JE? ONE ON ONE...DUDUK ELOK2 KAT MEJE N JUST SORT IT OUT..what is so difficult?

even if xpuas hati ngn 5 orang or 10 org pon....

I notice that girls here like to call eachother BITCHES, SLUTS, WHORES, Bad Attitude this and that.. WHY???? why would you say things like that to or about someone?

Everyone is different, everyone has their own opinion thats normal...but for the girls who read this...come on....be civilized a bit towards eachother...these words are things that can split a friendship apart for a long time...and they are just words..but words are dangerous things to use.

Its like calling a friend FAT..or UGLY...why? ok he/ she may not look as good as YOU...but she might have more other positives than YOU, she might be ugly but she dont BITCH about her own friends. Or she might be Fat, but she is tryna work on it, even if she isnt..once she isnt fat no more she may be the next top model..

This is not me just talking on what iv seen, its what iv experienced myself..

I have been called all sorts of names...

and yes it DOES hurt...

but then i chose to ignore it...becoz the only person who should affect my self-esteem..is ME, noone else but me and me only...

Who deserves that satisfaction of bringing me down, just to make themselves feel better?

i know who i am, and if u dont like it....get lost..

what am i to care who wants to chow from my circle of  friendship, but once ur out you are out laaa...its a one way door. 

I love the people in my life...but i dont like being around peplewho bitch and bitch and bitch about their friends who are not even aware there is a problem.

Just lead the life you wat to, be the person you want to be and reach the goal you planned for.

 

Why wait for those who wish not to be waited for?

Why love and not be loved back?

Why tell a person you love them when u dont?

why tell a person you miss them when u miss someone else?

Why let someone break your heart and then let them do it again?

WHY why why why why..do we torture ourselves..why cant we just be our own person, and do things that are suitable for us...why cant we just be a perfect friend, and not create hate and lies about one another...

I still dont get it...

My two peepz

My bestest friend in the whole wide world..no matter how far apart we are
Oh my god! me n Wan afdzal durin our high skool days..we were close back in school and i dont look this nerdy anymore...he STILL DOES hehehehehheheh

These r my closest friends at my new college..i love them.. Mia(my senior) and Muiarah my classmate

Newbie

Well, hello its my 1st time opening a propper blog page so im quite excited, feel kinda stupid actually becoz everyone seems to have one excpt me.

Its easier than keeping a diary anyway.

Latest news? hmmm i am going to be very bz with college this sem. Im doin a project on Animal rights, it has inspired me..I have started Yoga, and no it isnt some kind of hippie meditation as to what i thought it was. But the poses are very intimidating, Crazy and obsurd..and i love it..also becoz i can hardly do any of them yet since i only just started. I am celebrating my 1year with my boyfriend and i know there hav been a lot of bets as to how long i will last, the bet was what.. 3months..well step over that now coz im wayyy past that..hahahha but its great i have learned a lot so far, i hate thinking that i might be left alone or that he might find another person..but i kow he wont n i have always wanted to settle down..even tho everyone is telling me im still young n got a long life ahead of me n bla bla blaa...ohh well ill write more in my next blog..Xx