Thursday, February 5, 2009

Thank god!!!!

After all this fuckin stress of the semester, all the ups n many downs of these past 4 months, the tears the heartbreak, to being put back together again, to losing myself n finding myself again...
all the work i almost gave up on, to pulling myself back on my feet again... i FINALLY FINISHED my assignments..ecept for a few class work whick only involved a calico skirt n 3-4 sleeves..i managed to finish my final assignments my bustier corset, my corset dress, and my final design, along with my retail class assignments..IM DONE!! IM ACTUALLY DONE!!! i cant beleive it!! Months ago i was a complete mess, unable to help myself and completely torn apart...prioritizing things the wrong way around..my work now comes 1st now my life is finally together. i am so exhausted yet so overwhelmed..how just in 4 months i went thru so many ups n downs...this could cause a heart attack, probly even strock or paralysis or even DEATH...i really was in a completely different place emotionally and physically, put on weight lost weight...lack of sleep, lack of a lot of things...now iv got what i need n im off.
Now that i have all my stuff done (reguardless that i managed to do it all in a week) i realized that once i have my head down, i can actually do it..i can concentrate and i automatically become this completely different person, although this week i have because i was so stressed about getting everything done, and took it out on khalis( im so sorry about that darling) thank god i have him, god knows where i would be..probly scaling the walls or dark corners for a place to hide so my lecturers and friends dont kill me for being distracted by personal problem so easily...thats the thing tho..i never had anyone beside me for very long n if i did..they never understood...i hope khalis is here to stay, i get my stuff done, im more myself and i feel more content, im more concentrated too and besides the fact iv been a real bitch lately and having moodswings from a-z....im almost back to being my old happy-stress-free-no bullshit self...i can concentrate on khalis now for a while and give the time to him like hes been giving to me...be around for him now im free, give back what hes given me..all the support and stuff...difference is..hes a geek/ bookworm/nerd ...and im not...but yeah..im gnna concentrate on him for my 1 month holiday..get back to what i put on pause for a while..after all this rushing n running around n fighting about my attitute problems, so at least now i can have the time to put myself right n think about my traits and problems with my mood swing n how easily irritated i get...im weird..but what to do..s9o is he..two peas in a pod..hes the captain, im his parrot, im the queen, hes my royal crown..im one hes the other.....be back soon..-kisses