Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Holdin it in...

So i hold all these feelings, besides the fact u may assume im an emotional being, maybe i am..i take in whatever you throw at me and hold it inside, u raise your voice and my fed-up alarm starts ringing, time and time again i remind you about it..


i get angry too, i get annoyed, but never would i raise my voice or shout and throw nasty words at you, might as well spit on me too right if like that?
i was not brought up to disrespect anyone, not even in anger..
your ego has enlarged too, which is dis-heartening from my point of view..


Then there are days you tell me you miss me and yet i come 2 you and receive maybe 3/ 4 pecks and a cuddle at most. why is it all words, even things like, i should be at home when u get home, and i waita round like a puppy expecting somethin more than just a mere hi... not even mention how both our days were...and its sad coz the 1st 2 weeks u worked u were like all about me.. now its slipped back to un-appreciating and disrespect....


im startin 2 question things and its disurbing me...please pick yourself up soon...
i hate feeling like this...


for now its me and god.. please god be kind to me...please

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Where are you

Where are you
you throw the anger of you on me, you lose it
my words are told to be of provoking
giving you the excuse to do as you do..

i think its an excuse
you once told me to think before i act..
you?

You are now biting the hand that feeds you

but i know god will repay wisely what is done unto me by you... one day...

Coreless

YOU HAVE NO CENTRE IN YOU
NOT EVEN A THOUGHT OF GOD
NOT EVEN PRAYING
NOTHING TO CALM THE MONSTER IN YOU
ITS RELEASED OFTEN LATELY AND I HATE IT
THE DEVIL HAS A STRONG GRIP ON YOU AND YOU LOSE YOUR SELF CONTROL UNNECESSARILY....
AND TO BE VERY HONEST.. IM SCARED...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Unexpected.. or expected?

Sometimes we wake up in the morning, do the same routine, sometimes even the same clothes, shower with the same shower gel, and get in the car at the same time, day in and day out.
But what we hardly question is WHY, why do we do the same thing everytime when it comes to our responsibilities? could it be due to saving time? could it be because thats the expectation we have towards achieving our wants and needs? or is it simply because we are afraid of the change itself.

But this can apply in the working shirts or the bums that sit on the couch everyday watching the same things on tv as if there was only 1 channel. We tend to get so comfortable with things being the way they are, what we are used to, that when change comes about, be it expected or not, we HISS and become sqeamish at the very thought, even though it may actually be good for us.
Some of us are happy to do the same things day in day out, some of us require constant changes in order to keep motivated. But! wether or not the change is good, its a matter of wether we can accept it or not, like it or lump it. Routine can be such a drag sometimes, so its only in our power to make the routine more exciting or bearable. I, myself am a character that resists change, reluctant to go very far from my comfort zone, even though i know change will be good now and then. Dont get me wrong i do make changes to better myself or that around me if i must, the good change i dont mind that i am able to have some sort of control over, its the changes that disrupt my routine and my mind that i dislike.

i guess only time will tell. maybe the cards will just change before i can even sense it.
who knows...i might like it.. then again..... i might not..
its all in gods hands..