Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Ok..now breathe...

i miss you...god damn it i fucking miss u...i miss YOU ..i miss US! i miss how we were..i miss how better we could become...i hate u for giving up! i hate how i constantly think of u before i sleep, when i wake up and how miserable this has been making me and how im in THAT much of denial...i want to run away far enough so nothing reminds me of you....but how the hell can i ..when every good thing i come across makes me want to share it with you.....!!!



WHY GOD....WHY!! 

Actually

Actually ..Before this.. i used to enjoy missing you...it pinched but i liked it...i enjoyed how id fall asleep with a smile on my face knowing u miss me too, n love me n how its gonna feel when i do get 2 see you..how id be able to kiss you, hug u..look after you..treat you...
that was before...

Now i can only look over my shoulder..wishing... AND I FUCKING HATE IT NOW...

I may seem different in the ways i treat you..but its only because when i want to do so many things to u, or say so many things 2 u...i know im only going to hurt myself..so i keep it to myself, hoping u can hear it..with u knowing my heart( which in reality u cant hear) but i am holding back, im too damn scared to say what i feel, or what i want..because of the amount of time and effort it took to build back the walls i have now...ALMOST KILLED ME..

So just know...i havent lost it for you..i still got it...i just refuse to show it due to knowing myself too well...and u said it isnt what u want..so im gnna have 2 keep it this way..

god knows how much iv missed u...n the changes im encountering...its jz sad i cant hold ur hand through it....so good luck with ur new-found freedom....




i love u....always have...always will.....