SIDE EFFECTS

its so easy to cry when u love someone, but its incedibly difficult to cry when u love someone more than life itself, as easy as it is to forgive n how hard it is to forget, i keep all my tears inside, because once i let them all out, i will end up going with them..How can something so real, so compatible, not be under my grasp, its like im holding onto something so tight that it is letting go of me, but im still holding on with every inch of life..Shes moving here, i probly wont see him again, someone tell me how i handle that? i admit it fine...im weak...as strong as i may be..im weak..and theres nothing i can do..i have let my head control me 2 many times, i cant risk anything, i dont want to...i may hurt for a long time..till i can have him in my arms...maybey ill never get that opportunity..i dont know...but what i do know is that im in love ..and as much as it hurts, it hurts all the time..it hurts when i smile n pretending im happy..yet somehow i still pull myself thru it...im happy that hes always around me...but for how long? till that girl moves here...its so fcked up...grrrrrrrrrr i could smack someone...i dont like feeling jealous im not like that...i like being the priority not the opportunity...2 people need eachother but cant be together...how? how to deal with this? if i take action i could lose him..so i just gotta do whatever i can n just turn a blind eye to what may hurt, and keep pretending i dont feel pain....