Sept 11th

Now that raya is soon to be over for me,

September 11th has just passed us, i would like to share my condolences with the world for those who lost their loved ones in such a horrible tragedy 9 years ago...time has gone so fast, butthe memories will never be forgotten. Love to you all

Where there is Tragedy....

There may be HOPE

Its so sad, that things like this we are never prepared for, its even more sad that innocent people lost their lives even those trying to save others. We should all realize by now how importat it is to love our neighbours and accept our differences be it race, religion and colour of skin. America and countries alike with a melting-pot of many races under 1 country really need to step up their game and make everyone realize how important acceptance is, it starts small, but goes a very long way.. parents should teach their children from young about the importance of accepting others regardless of skin colour and religion....

ok maybe this kind of acceptance isn't AS important, but u get what i mean...

Hari Raya

Puasa : "Puasa" means "fasting or abstention". The speaker might mean after "Hari Raya Puasa" is over. Here is some information regarding Hari Raya Puasa:

Hari Raya Puasa is also commonly known as Hari Raya Aidilfitri. In Malay the word Hari Raya means ‘A Day Of Celebration’ and Puasa derives from Sanskrit meaning ‘fasting or abstention’. Hari Raya Puasa means‘great day of fasting’ or in actual sense ‘the festival marking the end of a period of fasting’. Hari Raya Puasa is popularly known as Eid Ul Fitr. Hari Raya Puasa marks the end of Ramadan, the holy month of fasting.

or

Hari Raya Aidilfitri (also seen as Hari Raya Idul Fitri andHari Raya Puasa) is the Malay term for the Muslim festivalof Eid ul-Fitr. Hari Raya is also known as Lebaran. Muslims inBrunei, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore and the Philippinescelebrate Eid like other Muslims throughout the world. The term "Hari Raya" literally means "Big Day" — it is also occasionally used to refer to Eid ul-Adha in the form of "Hari Raya Aidiladha". The main greeting used by Muslims in Malaysia and Singapore is "Selamat Hari Raya" which means "Happy Eid" in Malay. Another greeting is "maaf zahir dan batin" which translates loosely to "I seek forgiveness (from you) physically and spiritually", for Hari Raya is a time to reconcile and renew relationships with others.

As i sit here while indulging in my fav haagen-dazs ice cream, im starting to understand the true meaning of this particular celebration and how wonderful it really is, the true meaning anyway.

As a 5 year old, u dont really understand the meaning of this celebration, u just know that all your aunties and uncles, brothers and sisters, or anyone older than you, is most likely to end up giving you money, and at 5 its exciting.

However, as an adult..a very curious one..its very exciting for me as a non-muslim to be able to encounter such happy times, especially in another family, with the women desperately trying to get things ready in the kitchen, and the husbands, brothers and boys stealing the raya bicuits here and there, its such a fun event. the night before raya, i managed single-handedly to take down a cupboard..and get the help of the boyfirend to help me carry it outside and place all the contents of the cupboard into plastic bags. it was very accomplishing to have finally got it done after so long.

I slept around 3am and woke up at 11, sadly boyfie didnt make it to raya prayers, but i felt i was much more excited than he was, i rushed downstairs trying to avoid contact w anyone till after my shower. i showered and quickly put on my baju kurung, which i recently bought, and went to do my make up. Once i was ready i went straight to the kitchen and 'salam' the parents and sisters. I then was unable to find 'sampuls' so i ended up just giving the money straight to boyfies nephews and i was the 1st ;) . i then went back to the kitchen and was given my usual post which would be to make sure the 'kuih' holders were never empty, and they never are( besides me stealing the buscuits n them). the 1st set of people arrived and typically asked who i am and the usual banter about where im from..blah blah blah and they were gone. the whole day there was about 4 sets of diff people over which wasn't too hectic since many are not coming down 2 kl till boyfies brothers wedding next week.

LATE at night we played with fireworks and did naughty things with them such as blowing up the dustbins and sticking them in holes in the ground or poles..it was fun, tiring.... but fun. The last two days were pretty slow, went to a friends house and had some yummy food and desserts, and yes, i really feel like a fatty right now, so gym is definately back on the priority of my list ;/ but all this has been worth it, especially small things like helping in the kitchen and looking at others in the kitchen doing similar work to me, it got the job done faster, besides boyfies nephews often calling out '' Aunty lexis look at this, or 'aunty lexis buat apa' to be honest, cutting up cucumbers wasnt as easy as i thought..i didnt really know what i was doing either haha but i got it done(properly)...totally a pro cucumber-cutter now lol

Late at night as i lay down on the verge of falling asleep, i realized that besides all the fun, the meaning goes much much deeper, especially when it comes to relationships, about seeking forgiveness and reconciliation. For some its just words, but some do really mean it..the whole world should embrace this festival i think, its really something to celebrate. we should all celebrate new beginings and friendships/ relationships and practice forgiveness..

Thank u for teaching me such a meaningful lesson.

On this day

Yes i wonder, i think i question..oh whats with these strangers and why they stare

im not one to stand out, im very normal looking, nothing special..just my skin is much lighter than theirs..

i wonder, yes i wonder, i think i question, what if i had everything i ever wanted..would i still be happy? probably not...

i wonder, yes i wonder i think i question, would i ever be loved enough and cared about enough to never have a fear of being alone at all....

i wonder, yes i wonder, the people i pass everyday, wether they are happy with their lives, the few that manage a smile while passing by...do they wonder like me.....

The crack in the road

I know what i feel, and no matter what u do or have done, it has never changed.....

I was away back home for two weeks, with complete honesty, nothing to hide..and a body that just couldnt wait to come back and be next to urs...

And when i come back, what do i find out?..it broke me to pieces, i cant lie...even looking at u was hard.. i used to be an elephant, never to forget...but this time...i found i wanted to move on away from this situation as much as possible, and start over new..i couldnt bare to think about this problem anymore, it was driving me crazy, it hurt really2 bad..i felt deceived and i wont even go to what happened to my trust, self esteem and confidence in myself..and you..

Where i am now, and u in your final sem..i feel alone...like im the only one pulling weight, i dont get sweet sms's anymore, and its been quite a while since u called to say u love me n hung up straight away or called purely because miss me...

I still have my passion, i still have my love, i still feel for you...regardless of your mistakes..i still want to plase you..i still want to make you smile and i still want you to be mine.......i want to travel the world with you and see u gasp for recognition when we each the highest mountain...or let me clean ur wounds after a hike up a hill...steal a ciggarette w u in places that we cant smoke...

do you still feel the same way about me? Do u even know why you love me as you tell me..could you even tell me what makes me so special? Do i still make u smile? are you willing to participate in this life with me at your side? i need to know....if you are committed to this relationship..and to me...because im committed..are you willing to be with me in sickness and health?

you should know...iv already started building walls around my pain...so i wont have to think about it anymore...please dont knock those walls down...it takes quite a long time and a lot of strength to get them up...i plead with you..i beg..please dont knock them down....Lets build this together on much stronger foundation..tougher soil..u know u cant be without me, just as i cant be without you..so lets make this work..for the both of us..

The Mosque to be built at ground ZERO

Im curious to know what other peoples views are about the building of a mosque in new york on ground zero. Do you think it would be a good idea? in terms of stronger friendship ties with the Islamic religion and the followers of the religion, or Do you think it could go downhill altogether and create war?

Personally, having come across many people sceptical of Islam as religion, many fail to realise how beautiful it is. Although im not a muslim, i was raised as a Catholic and the older i grew, the more i distanced myself from religion altogether however, i do beleive in god. This whole controversy over building a mosque dead centre of ground zero, ofcourse would worry certain American citizens. Many whom are still very unaware of what islam teaches. Islam is not a terrorist religion, it does not teach one to be violent whatsoever, all these terrorism problems boil down to extremeism, all religions to some extent have extremists sadly. I can still however understand, the idea that this mosque will be a place of worship and prayer for those who lost muslim brothers sisters, fathers and mothers in the 9/11 incident.

However, many americans fear it will be a meeting place for extremists to meet an discuss further attacks. America and also many other Countries alike need to break out of this idea that Islam is a Terrorist religion. It has saddened me to read in Cnn that some Americans are even calling muslims 'the others' AND THAT THEY DO NOT BELONG IN America. What if someone turned around to a Christian or Catholic or any other religion and said the same thing?

Americans are already planning to blow-up the centre once it has been built..

We can also blame the media, for blowing Islamic Extremism wayy out of proportion, media alone has turned many people against the religion for all the wrong reasons such as violence and terror. If media was more responsible, they would promote sensetive issues and stop showing the world the bad side of everything and promote the good side and what religions such as Islam, Catholics christians etc..are all about. Leaders of all religions should stand up and explain things more, and muslims and non-muslims should get their heads together and be more culturally sensetive towards one another, respect differences and understand them too.

We all need to hold hands and embrace eachother as humans, show dignity and respect for one another. We need to learn more and stop hating, protect wildlife and stop the war..it would be complete heaven if we could all just stop fighting and hold hands, that is when god, mother nature and whoever else would smile upon us..maybe thats when we would understand how beautiful life on earth could really be.

Hello all over again

Well, yet again havent been here for a while, 

for a 2010 intro: 

WORK

Started working in my dad's co. doing asset management, quite funny for someone who has graduated i fashion design, it completely turned my knowledge from 100- 0

business has never been my forte, but im giving it a shot, n see how far it takes me. Im in the mood to learn something new anyway, might get better at it if i decide to stay.

Malaysia in terms of the fashion industry is'nt very receiving, u really do need 2 know a lot of people and mix around and buzz here n there, which im not so used to, at 13-19 it was something I did unconciously..but now im 23 ITS BECOME A FEAR and i know if i want to be in this evil industry and not be spat out, i do need 2 gather my contacts.

but enuff of work for now.

Love

Such a wonderful thing it is, and yes im still with the man i fell in love with, still going strong, and i fall in love every time i see him. I still adore his geeky-adolecent-sexy-caring ways..he still definately turns me on, and im starting 2 hate the fact i can only see him on weekdays, i really wish i had an apartment of my own, so i wouldnt hv 2 give a shit abt the weekeds...it drives me insane on fridays coz i know im hours away from seeing him.  Secretly, in 60% glad he isnt going 2 perth to study and the 40% feels kinda sad as well coz i know he really wanted to go, as they say when one door closes, another opens. Hes so smart, he could do anything. 

Life

hmmmm life, in general..could be better, still struggling with work, but slowly is the best way to go at the moment, i keep wanting 2 learn things as if im a bloody computer even tho i know i cant take it all at once..its even weird living in the same house as dad, when he is also my boss, quite amusing actually, even tho i have quite a few friends who were not able 2 put up with it..still not happy with dads gf, cant even look her in the eye, she disgusts me, a gold-digger, unaware that we have all sussed her out and who she Really is, a 2 FACED FAKE. if i was 2 start on her now, i could never finish. sams away in australia, and to be honest i really miss him, even tho im starting 2 come to terms with the fact hes not in my house, but there are times ill go 2 the kitchen late at nite n him asking me 2 cook...i honestly miss it, and im so so proud of him...i could cry.

the twins are finally back at college after a damn long holiday, so hopefully they will be motivated enuff now 2 do what they are supposed to and not be so playful..

I have a new husky called bear, the most adorable thing in the world! cant replace maya, but he is much more a handful than sh ever was, hes still a puppy so hes very playful and naughty and bites on things..but i love him to pieces..

thats about whats been happening till now....god knows when ill be back...

soon hopefully..

xxx

Something i just cant swallow...

Hes been talking to her and has lied about it...trying to cover duration of call on a new phone with something completely un-related...then turns tables on me ..calling me names...when hes the one whos been caught....i just dont know what to do..im speechless...and on top of it all..im hurt...i feel betrayed....he even brings ups old stories when hes trying 2 defend himself....im hurt...

Good enough.Ever??

Will i ever make him truely happy??? will i??