i just dont know...

Aku baru bertunang..tapi kenapa kepala otak aku rase mcm takut..serabut..a few days ago i sat down with my own family n decided that i wont have a wedding till i finish college n have settled down in work....right after that i started asking myself questions...is this it? is this the end of my life? could it be that my whole life has been all layed out and planned for..n am i really ready for all of this....at first i was so excited n happy n had butterflies...but when i see all my other friends yang masih single...or whos boyfriends are away studying.....i feel as if im still missing out on something..n i dont know what it is..is it my freedom? am i being caged up? i need all my friends to come back...all my good friends are away in different countries n it makes me mad at myself coz i have literally noone to talk to or cry to when im stressed out...im planing to finish my license soon so i can get my butt over to hanie n cry...i dont know anymore..i am getting chili feet about this whole thing...i love this guy with everything i have...i really do..hes everything too me...maybey i just need someone to encourage me...or give me some idea on what i should do...da la tgh blaja agama ni..bukan senang..lidah i da terbalik dah baca n sebut. and this whole engagement thing really tests a persons loyalty to their partner..i swear..i just dont know if i have enuff strength in me to get thru these tests.....tolonnnggggg!!!!