here it is...

so, next week is college again...kinda lookin forward 2 it actually...no more talk aboot the euro...germany lost dammit!!!  getting my license this week sometime..meeting up with the girls..if i got the transport...might be adopting a husky puppy...STILL not confirmed yet..my neighbour hasnt told us the details of its vaccines yet..tomorrow..im going to go SHOPPING!!  ineed to de-stress myself...so many things have been going on...urghhhhh i hate thinking.....

CHECKLIST:

License?      this week

Puppy?        Not confirmed

Football?     not for now

Shopping?  tomorrow..HELL YEAH!

College?       Next week

Thinking?    i give up

Complete control of my life? NON EXISTENT...

hello..

HEY..WELL NOW I HAVE MY OFFICIAL CALENDER SORTED OUT, I AM FINALLY AT PEACE, ALTHOUGH IT WA SCARY WHEN I GOT A MESSAGE FROM MY ANATOMY READINGS SAYING THAT 'SOMETHING I WISHED FOR MAY NOT PLEASE ME AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT' i guess it was talking about my holidays...maybey i did secretly wish i did have the 2 months off so i could go to the gym, n lose the fat i have gained over the past 2 moths alone..however i was getting bored at home and half a year of holiday would just be a waste of my time..so i guess im glad im going to be doing something..aww well i just watched KUNGFU PANDA on dvd...i was really planning to watch it at the movies but i couldnt help myself...although im a bit dissapointed, i was expecting it to be hilarious, but instead it was just ...CUTE...yeah, i didnt really find it that funny, even though the trailer seemed much more funny...weird..but i am waiting to see Hancock and a Superhero movie...might watch it at the cinema, i seem to lose my laugh when im at home alone...in the cinema with everyone else, whatever seems funny seems to make everyone laugh..so we will just see...

now its messed up!!

There i go thinkin my college stARTs on he 23rd whih was what the assistant of courses told me...i went early in the morning n found out i dont start till september?? wtf??? what am i gonna do for 2 more months huh??? what the hell??? i xnak buat lemak jer at home...i need something to doo!!!!!!

new sem!!

i have college tomorro...im sooo not up for it...i actually have gotten used to sitting on my ass n waking up watever time i want with lunch ready on the table...but i have to admit, it does get boring because you dont kno what to do with the time, i will either treat myself at the hair salon, or go have lunch, ill usualy be alone since everyone is either working or having class...so the prospects of getting back to college n doing something useful, instead of just making myself fat at home n stuffing my face with food...are actually looking quite good,,i just hope i dont have many morning classes....

no sleep

i havent slept for 48 hours..and im absolutely exhausted, had to pick up, my fiancee's brother in kuantan today..didnt sleep becoz we had to leave at 7.30am..before that i went to my old college mates bar behind maizon, she opened it a month ago...so i came to support her...its really nice..a great place to chill....now im watching a movie called the king of scotland..its kinda good...very patriotic but sad too...anyway...i probly wont finish it coz im so sleepy...goodnite...

i dont beleive it..

why did you bother texting me, asking me if im mad at you? what do u think? 

..now ur doing it to other people, and yes they know it too...they are fast learners...

i blame myself for being the slow one, i should of taken the advise a few years ago...i should of seen the sighns..

...but i didnt..

How in gods name can u ever call yourself a friend, when you treat people like shit..

im still confused as to wether im being too nice or am i being too harsh..

i dont know how else you will ever understand why iv been like this...its not because i have to..its because i want to...

So dont text me asking me if im mad at you..what makes you think im mad...u said you havent done anything to me..why would you terase if i havent picked up your calls unless you think you have done something to me?...

its hot

i hate the heat here, its not like u can get a tan with this heat, cant be bothered to go swimming becoz im afraid the little kiddie winks always pee in it, and even if they didnt i would still feel as though they did...i dunno what to do...getting my driving license soon...cant wait!!!!!!

monkey time

im gonna go feed the monkeys near my house...its more inspiring than sitting at home....

can you just go find yourself...please

Go and find who you really are, stop complaining, learn how to stop lieing , stop tryna be someone else...stop tryna pretend....stop it all!!!!

why do it?

I dunno if its just me, but i just found out my blogs are read, not jz to try and find out whats up..or anything new...but to find out if i have written about her...isnt it crazy...dont tell me blogs have no freedom either? theres no quality control here..its a blog..a stupid freaking blog where people are free to write what they like when and how they want....god save the freedom of blogs...for petes sake...what is the world coming to...

urghhhh

i give up! i give up!! i give up on life!! im so bz trying to control my own, and other people want me to sort their freaking mental issues and their problem too....IM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST! 

If your lives are so miserable..GO ON HOLIDAY...GO EAT PEANUTS AT A BAR..JUST GO DO SOMETHING! I HAVE PROBLEMS ON MY OWN...I DONT HAVE TIME 2 WORRY IF ANYONE WILL BE AROUND FOR ME ANYMORE!! JZ FECK FECK EVERYTHING!! FECK LIFE...FECK USELESS FRIENDS...FECK TRUST FECK FECK WATEVER IT ALL IS RIGHT NOW!!!!! HUUURGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO BE THE HULK RIGHT NOW I WOULD....OR EVEN SPIDERMAN.....

ohh well

So im finally back from jakarta...it was amazinggg!! god i wish i could of stayed longer, i felt so at home there n so comfortable..i dunno why...maybey i do need a change of country..everything is so free there... u feel so at home..n everyone is friendly..everyone has their group..n stays in it...its really cool n i love the fashion there everyone who is anyone looks good everyday...hanie would love it..probly cz of the choice of doghnut shops n how easy it is to find clothes that look good on everyone...no matter what size u r or how big ur wings are...mine r growing slowy n i hate it!! urrghhhh i need to diet...everyone there is soo gorgeous and perfect it would make the most gorgeous girl in the world still feel insecure...its nothing like wat the tv says...i was so confused on where to START shopping i headed straight for Zara which seemed utterly pointless coz Malaysia has it too..but the choice of clothing there is wayyyy better...so for those who cant get there hands on shopping in paris or italy...go to jakarta dudettes!! as fo dramaaaaa...hmmm no nothing new...my labrador puppy died tho a day after we bought it..apparently it contracted an infection in pets wonderland..n hadnt yet been vacciated..since it was too young..it was meant to be a surprise once i came back from indonesia..but it died b4 i could even see it..i saw the pictures tho..it was an adorable cutie with a tubby bum which went by the name ( as my brother didnt know what to call it) MIKEY...may mikey rest in peace...bless him...hmm yeahhhhhhh  so thats about it so far...might go up to my house in penang next week for a short holiday n go tanning or something...i need some colour..im starting to blend in with the walls..grrrrrrr so until my next post....tartar