product of lifes disaster

Friends are easy to find,...but friends who will cry with you when you cry..or friends that will hurt when you are hurting..are so difficult..im lucky to have ones like that...but they r far away in other countries..thank god i still see one regularly..cz if i didnt i would be a mess..

it makes me wonder sometimes, if god mechanically engineered us humans to have to have an equal, to have company, why didnt he create is to be solo? why did he create emotions..

why has he given the emotion to be sad?

and to feel pain or heartbreak?

to feel messed up and lost?

we humans, are a time-bomb ready to go off...its so obvious, some cant even stand having emotions, and forget to put their breaks on while they drive themselves crazy over things not worth ending their life for..is this thing called life..really a test?

Could life after this be anymore worse? 

i hope not..

I met up with a friend of my fiancee today...shes had a third miscarriage recently..and on the table by the door, wrapped up in a white cotton baby cloth, lay her dead three-month embryo, that was taken out of her yesterday, my fiancee asked me to go open it n have a look, but i couldnt bear to look at something so pure, that has been taken away from a woman, she has been taking all sorts of medication to get her hormones right, this time was un-planned, the doctor did say, dont try, or dont do any penetrating for a while, but i guess it was an accident, but i felt so sad sitting there, staring at the cloth, and what laid inside it..it makes you almost hate being a woman, and the though of how many women go through it..i got a headache from thnking if it ever happened to me, or anyone close to me..Honestly..HOW MANY times does it take to drive a woman insanely crazy? losing out on creating a family for herself 3 times and failure??

i wish her all the best for the next time...

anyway im off to bed, im tired of thinking..